All Hail (and Obey) Queen Naomi

I promise this isn’t going to become a celebrity blog. I promise I really don’t find them that interesting. But insanely famous people do tend to do things in such extremes, they can make perfect illustrations for the more complicated dynamics that unfold among the rest of us.

Case in point. Just weeks after playing all kissy and make-up-y (my spell check informs that though kissy is not a word, make-up-y is. Go figure…) with her former runway nemesis – Tyra Banks – on, naturally, the Tyra Banks Show (see 11/23/05 post “Attention All Catfighting Supermodels”), Naomi Campbell is back on track. We can all breath another huge sigh of relief, girls. Super-cat Naomi hasn’t quite shed her stripes.

This information comes from the Daily News Lowdown gossip column by way of Gawker. Worthy sources? Sure, why not (as worthy as the New York Times anyway)…Apparently, Miss Naomi ran into one Nicole Ritchie at the no longer quite-hot New York nightclub Bungalow 8 the other night, where she proceeded to read Nicole the riot act for hanging out with Naomi’s alleged nemesis, Nicky Hilton. According to the story, Naomi more screeched her profanity-laced riot act over Nicole’s head (not hard to believe since I’d guess Naomi is about a foot taller), loud enough for the surrounding crowd to appreciate, I’m not sure what the Nicky Hilton nemesis thing is about, but as Tyra showed us Naomi has no shortage of enemies for no shortage of reasons. Of course, publicists for both parties kind of denied the whole thing, but that’s what publicists do (when not trying to get you on Leno or the Today Show.)

I’m not going to say I told you so, but…People, Naomi just ain’t nice. She’s got a rocking body, a serious strut and some even more serious attitude. But she’s a capital D Diva and she likes to have control of everything and everyone around her. Another starlet “writing” junky novels with a bunch of bling on the cover? No way. That girl’s got to be put in her place. I say give it up Naomi. Stop even pretending to care whether other women like you. It doesn’t suit you. Leave that shit for Oprah and Gloria Steinem and just give us a good old-fashioned stilettos and claws bitchfest every once in a while.